Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Halpern

Sh*t My Dad Says
by Justin Halpern

Synopsis:
After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:

"That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them."
"Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking."
"The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two."

More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.


Review:
ON MY BLOODY NOSE
What happened? Did somebody punch you in the face?!... The what? The air is dry? Do me a favor and tell people you got punched in the face.


I loved reading Sam Halpern's comments. There is not a page in this book that you do not laugh out loud at least twice. Justin was a genius to write his dad's comments down and I'm sure they will be a treasure to him, and all of us, for years to come. Yes, Sam has the art of cussing and harsh sarcasm down to science, but in the age of political correctness, Sam's words are refreshing. He reminds me of my grandfather, a lot.


If profanity and abrasive comments upset or offend, do not read this book. For everyone else, do yourself a favor and read it, share it, and then reread it. It is that funny. 


Intended Audience: Ok. I will be honest, I let my teens read this book, they hear worse language on the school bus daily, but it's probably best for ages 16 and up.

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Other books by this author:
Sh*t My Dad Says
I Suck at Girls

Bewitching by Jill Barnett

Bewitching
by Jill Barnett

Synopsis:
What's a Duke to do when a carefully selected bride rejects him rather than marry without love? He salvages his pride by marrying the next woman who falls into his arms! Joyous Fiona MacQuarrie bewitched Alec, the Duke of Belmore, the moment she appeared from nowhere and tumbled into his lap. Joy, a witch whose powers of white magic are not always well controlled, turns the life of the most serious and snobbish Duke in England upside down when he decides to marry the beautiful Scottish pixie who has aroused his desire. Even though he knows next to nothing about her or her background. Alec could have forgiven Joy for upending his life and the lives of all at Belmore Park if not for the truth she hid from him. He'd married a witch, who turns him to fire when he kisses her, charms everyone around her, and threatens to destroy both their lives as scandal looms over her. Too late, Joy discovers she's desperately in love and has no idea how to be a proper duchess, control her magic or change what may come. Passion holds them spellbound in an irresistible tale of two enchanted hearts.


Review:
This is a really fun book. If you are looking for something to lift your spirits, make you laugh and warm your heart, this is just the book to do it.


Alec has been raised as a Duke and has no time for love or anything frivolous. There is a reason for everything he does and he leaves no margin for error, he seeks and expects perfection. Joy is a free spirited witch that just cannot seem to get her spells to work correctly. She literally runs into Alec when her transportation spell goes wrong. When Alec tries to gallantly get Joy to her destination, hilarity ensues.


Poor Alec, his life needs Joy but he just doesn't know how to handle her and her magical misfires. A brush with death, stranded in a snowstorm with few resources, cements Alec's love for Joy and watching him adjust to life with her is sometimes awkward but always funny.


This book will make you laugh out loud. It is sweet and charming, and I didn't want it to end. I look forward to reading more of Jill Barnett's work. Highly recommended book.


Intended Audience: It has some sex, so I would say 17 and up.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter  
by Seth Grahame-Smith

Synopsis:
Indiana, 1818. Moonlight falls through the dense woods that surround a one-room cabin, where a nine-year-old Abraham Lincoln kneels at his suffering mother's bedside. She's been stricken with something the old-timers call "Milk Sickness."


"My baby boy..." she whispers before dying.


Only later will the grieving Abe learn that his mother's fatal affliction was actually the work of a vampire.


When the truth becomes known to young Lincoln, he writes in his journal, "henceforth my life shall be one of rigorous study and devotion. I shall become a master of mind and body. And this mastery shall have but one purpose..." Gifted with his legendary height, strength, and skill with an ax, Abe sets out on a path of vengeance that will lead him all the way to the White House.


While Abraham Lincoln is widely lauded for saving a Union and freeing millions of slaves, his valiant fight against the forces of the undead has remained in the shadows for hundreds of years. That is, until Seth Grahame-Smith stumbled upon The Secret Journal of Abraham Lincoln, and became the first living person to lay eyes on it in more than 140 years.


Using the journal as his guide and writing in the grand biographical style of Doris Kearns Goodwin and David McCullough, Seth has reconstructed the true life story of our greatest president for the first time-all while revealing the hidden history behind the Civil War and uncovering the role vampires played in the birth, growth, and near-death of our nation.


Review:
I have mixed feelings about this book, I read it a few months ago and I still haven't decided if I like it or not. Usually my first reaction to that would be to decide that if I didn't love it, I must have hated it, but as time has passed, I've come to the conclusion that it's actually a good thing because this book really made me think.


Most of the time I read for enjoyment and to escape reality, this was a book club selection so it was kind of assigned reading, in a way. It's not a subject I would normally read about: historical figures and vampires. As the synopsis says, it really did read like a grand biography. I actually didn't know a lot about Lincoln's life before I read it, and although it seemed very well researched, I am not sure if I know anything (true) about Lincoln's life now. The other day I caught myself in a conversation about history and Lincoln and I stated some random fact and my son asked me where I heard that, and I had to embarrassingly say "from Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter," they nearly laughed me out of the room. 


This is the kind of damage this book does. It reads so true to life and the vampire story is so expertly woven into historical "facts" that is makes me question reality. A lot. I mean, who knows, maybe the first secret service agents were vampires, and maybe the Civil War was fought so that southern vampires could take over America. 


If you have a better brain filter than I do (which I am sure 99.9% of you do) then you will remember not to learn history from Mr. Grahame-Smith's novels and just enjoy them as the farcical historical fiction they were intended to be. Me, I have been banned from all Lincoln and Civil War conversations in my house, due to this book and my faulty brain filter. Oh well.


It really was a good book but very dark and violent. Mr. Lincoln lived a very sad and difficult life and there are parts in this book where the emotional pain is almost overwhelming, then he goes out and lops the head off a vampire and life moves on. So yes, read this book and then come over and we will discuss our version of the Civil War and Mr. Lincoln's life and my kids can just butt out of it.


Intended Audience: I would recommend 16 and over due to violence.


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Other books by this author:

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Unholy Night

Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James

Fifty Shades of Grey (Book #1)
by E L James





Synopsis:
When literature student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. The unworldly, innocent Ana is startled to realize she wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve, finds she is desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her, too—but on his own terms.

Shocked yet thrilled by Grey’s singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success—his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving family—Grey is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a daring, passionately physical affair, Ana discovers Christian Grey’s secrets and explores her own dark desires.

Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.

This book is intended for mature audiences.


Review: 
Ok, I have to be honest, I held off reading this book as long as I could. Everyone was reading it, I mean everyone, and it was just a rebellious streak in me that refused to. Then one day it showed up in my Kindle Cloud (I have a cloud that I share with a few others) and I gave in. 

For the sake of honesty, I have to say that I almost stopped reading it after the first couple of chapters. None of the "fun" stuff had happened yet to make the book appealing and the writing seemed like the work of an 9th grader barely passing Language Arts. Alas, I read on to get to the "fun" part and I don't know if I just got used to it, but the writing seemed to get better as the steam started rising. 

As for the the steam...eh, it was pretty steamy, but not near what I thought it was going to be with all the hype this book got. Yes, I think Christian seems pretty yummy, I mean who doesn't love a well built billionaire? Ana kind of annoyed me, but I wish her well and hope she is less whiny in the next book.

Should you buy and read this book? If you are offended by poor grammar and steamy sex scenes...No. If you can put up with high school level writing and like fun and kinky sex scenes, by all means...Yes. It reminds me of sugar cookies, you know you shouldn't eat them but you still want them and eat them anyways.

Intended Audience: Mature, 18+ due to erotic sexual scenes.

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Also by E L James
Fifty Shades of Grey
Fifty Shades Darker
Fifty Shades Freed

The Magic by Rhonda Byrne

The Magic
by Rhonda Byrne


Synopsis:
ONE WORD CHANGES EVERYTHING

For more than twenty centuries, words within a sacred text have mystified, confused, and been misunderstood by almost all who read them. Only a very few people through history have realized that the words are a riddle, and that once you solve the riddle—once you uncover the mystery—a new world will appear before your eyes.

In The Magic, Rhonda Byrne reveals this life-changing knowledge to the world. Then, on an incredible 28-day journey, she teaches you how to apply this knowledge in your everyday life. 

No matter who you are, no matter where you are, no matter what your current circumstances, The Magic is going to change your entire life!  

Review:

Not yet reviewed.

        Kindle             Paperback

Other books by this author:

The Secret

The Power

The Magic

The Power by Rhonda Byrne

The Power 

by Rhonda Byrne

Synopsis: The Secret revealed the law of attraction. Now Rhonda Byrne reveals the greatest power in the universe.

This is the handbook to the greatest power in the universe—The Power to have anything you want.

Every discovery, invention, and human creation comes from The Power. Perfect health, incredible relationships, a career you love, a life filled with happiness, and the money you need to be, do, and have everything you want, all come from The Power.

The life of your dreams has always been closer to you than you realized, because The Power— to have everything good in your life—is inside you.

To create anything, to change anything, all it takes is just one thing… The Power .

Review:
I love this book.  Love Love Love.  It has a much more direct message than The Secret does. I go back to this book frequently, it's like a touch stone in my life. 


The message of the book centers around the Law of Attraction, but in a much purer and personal way than The Secret does. Yes, she gives examples of how to use the Law to attract jobs, money and love, but most of the book is bring happiness and positivity into your life.

I use the principles in this book daily and they got me through a very tragic time in my life. I have seen a big difference in my teenager's attitudes as well after I shared with them the lessons I learned in this book.

If you are going to read one self help book, this should be the one. I can't recommend it highly enough.

Intended Audience: anyone and everyone
         Kindle                  Hardback              Audiobook CD

Other books by this author:

The Secret

The Power

The Magic

The Secret by Rhonda Byrnes

The Secret 

by Rhonda Byrne

Synopsis:
Fragments of a Great Secret have been found in the oral traditions, in literature, in religions and philosophies throughout the centuries. For the first time, all the pieces of The Secret come together in an incredible revelation that will be life-transforming for all who experience it.
In this book, you'll learn how to use The Secret in every aspect of your life -- money, health, relationships, happiness, and in every interaction you have in the world. You'll begin to understand the hidden, untapped power that's within you, and this revelation can bring joy to every aspect of your life.
The Secret contains wisdom from modern-day teachers -- men and women who have used it to achieve health, wealth, and happiness. By applying the knowledge of The Secret, they bring to light compelling stories of eradicating disease, acquiring massive wealth, overcoming obstacles, and achieving what many would regard as impossible.



Review:  
The Secret made its debut years ago and it was clear from the start that it would be a “love it” or “hate it” book. I read the book and watched the DVD and I like The Secret much better in book form. I am clearly in the “love it” crowd, and the reason for that it that I love the message of the book. Do I truly believe that there is a great secret in the Universe? Yes, I do, and that secret (to me) is happiness and positivity.

This book reminds me to be mindful everyday and to pay attention to how you feel and what you are thinking. I know that when my mind goes negative, my body doesn't feel good. That being said, you have to wade through a lot of experts and stories to get that message from The Secret, but I still think the book is worth reading and rereading from time to time to refresh your Spirit and remind yourself to be positive.

Intended Audience: anyone and everyone

         Kindle                   Hardback               Audiobook CD



Other books by this author:

The Secret

The Power

The Magic

Sanctuary by Eden Bradley

Sanctuary
by Eden Bradley


Synopsis:
When her best friend takes her to a BDSM club in San Francisco Devin Delaney meets the beautiful, mysterious and commanding Shaye Vincent. The wealthy, enigmatic man takes her on a journey into the darker side of sex, and it’s addictive. He’s addictive.

At Sanctuary Devin’s kinkiest fantasies—and her emotions—shift into overdrive. But she’ll have to face old demons in order to give up control, and Shaye will have to walk through his own darkness. Can pain and desire bring them together? Or will it tear them apart?


Review: Not yet reviewed.

Intended Audience: Adults 18+, contains sex

The Lovers

The Lovers
by Eden Bradley


Synopsis:
It seemed ideal —two months at a writers' retreat, surrounded by kindred souls. But Bettina Boothe wasn't prepared for how long eight weeks truly was. Or that she would have to open up and reveal the most secret places in her body and soul.

Fortunately, her fellow authors do not share Bettina's self-consciousness and begin to draw her out of her shell. One in particular—Audrey LeClaire—seems to ooze confidence. Dark and petite, Audrey's sensuality draws men and women to her. Bettina is just as vulnerable, overwhelmed by a very unexpected attraction to Audrey.

But when Jack Curran arrives at the retreat, everything changes. Jack is tall, beautiful, masculine. A writer of dark thrillers, he's as mysterious and alluring as his books. He and Audrey are obviously an item, but they eagerly welcome Bettina into their bed. Bettina finds herself swept up in a maelstrom of lust, obsession and jealousy, in a love triangle where she will be cherished…or consumed.

Review: Not yet reviewed.

Intended Audience: Adults 18+, contains sex


         Kindle                    Paperback

Naughty Bits

Naughty Bits
by Eden Bradley, Megan Hart, Delilah Devlin, Deneshi Ash, Lacy Danes, Tracy Wolff



Synopsis: Naughty Bits is the first-ever compilation of breath-hitching, leg-crossing, pulse-quickening short erotic fiction from the editors of SPICE BRIEFS. Penned by some of the genre's best authors, including Megan Hart, Delilah Devlin, Jodi Lynn Copeland, Kimberly Kaye Terry and Sarah McCarty, these fifteen provocative, flirty, haunting—but always arousing—erotic encounters may be brief, but each one is guaranteed to be the naughtiest part of your day!


Review: Not yet reviewed.


Intended Audience: Adults 18+, contains sex


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